A Personal Crusade – Epilogue luni, Nov 16 2009 

The Battle of Light’s Hope Chapel was lost by the undead when the dreaded Ashbringer, Mograine’s sword, did not obey him.
Without the Ashbringer, the Highlord was nothing. He lost control of his creatures and eventually paladins overpowered him, capturing both him and his loyal servants.

While pleading for their lives, Arthas – The dreaded Lich King – appeared. He told the Death Knights that he had willingly sent them to their own demise on the holy ground surrounding the Chapel, with the intention of drawing out from hiding his nemesis, the former Knight of the Silver Hand, Tirion Fordring.

The two of them battled and it seemed as if the Paladin’s fate was sealed. Dark and twisted energies drained the Knight of his strength.

Noticing this, Darion Mograine threw the Ashbringer in Tirion’s direction. The Paladin caught it, and the blade was purified. With its holy strength, Fordring managed to inflict a serious wound on the Lich King who left, vowing to destroy all living beings.

The Knights of the Silver Hand, the Argent Dawn and the Scarlet Crusade joined forces to become the Argent Crusade, an order led by Tirion Fordring himself. They would take the fight back to the Lich King. Arthas would soon be challenged on his own terms.

For Laethos though, this seemed of little consequence. He did not know what to do.

The Paladin prayed for two days continuously, asking the Light for guidance. When he returned to Stormwind, he was commissioned to the newly established post of the Argent Crusade in Valgarde, in the frozen wastes of Northrend.

Laethos had something to live, and die for now. Arthas would soon pay what he had done. The Paladin took this vow, and pledged his life to this purpose.
His Personal Crusade… had only just begun.

—————————————————————————————–

Acesta este felul meu de a inchide acest capitol din viata Paladinului descris in cateva capitole, dar si felul meu de a imi lua ramas bun de la un joc, un univers, si o lume, care m-a inspirat, m-a invatat si m-a ajutat sa fac multe.

Pentru unii poate parea stupid, sa fac acest elogiu pentru un joc. Intr-adevar, acum este doar un joc. Ceva copilaros, schimbat in atat de multe feluri fata de ce a fost. Vorba aceea: Ce-am avut si ce-am pierdut…

Deci, aceasta va fi, probabil, ultima povestioara din acest univers. E timpul sa trec mai departe, sa descopar ceva nou… e timpul sa evoluez. Asa ca ramas bun Laethos… tu de abia ti-ai inceput Cruciada, pe cand eu am terminat-o de ceva vreme. Ma indrept spre ceva nou, inedit… undeva unde nu am idee ce ma asteapta.

Deci, ramas bun.

A Personal Crusade – Chapter IV vineri, Nov 13 2009 

Flying as fast as the wind, the skeletal being obeyed the orders. It was charging back towards the landing platform of the dreaded Necropolis.
Deep in his thoughts, Laethos kept pondering what to do next. Or what to say to his newly discovered father. Suddenly, the young man heard a loud shriek.
“Another creature of the Scourge” he thought.

Laethos did not have time to look for the source of the sound since he was now lying in the mud, down below the Archeus. Peering at the ‘former’ skeletal gryphon, he noticed a holy arrow, fired most likely from a Scarlet Ballista stationed near Light’s Hope Chapel.

Injured, with his arm broken, the young paladin kept thinking of what he had just read. Then it all went black, as he heard voices shouting in the distance, calling him.

——————————————————————-

He could hear his Runeblade hungering… Peering at the small party of undead minions and Death Knights that was surrounding him, Laethor could only think what had become of the young man he freed. His son. The son he had taken for dead until a few moments ago. But it did not matter now….
He would fight and he would die. Such was the way of the warrior. Such was the way of his long forgotten Light.


Tightening his grip on the blade, the old Knight charged towards his enemies, shouting a Paladin’s battle cry.

——————————————————————————————————-
-This one is still alive. Get a field medic over here!

The booming voice was shouting orders around the encampment. Everyone seemed on the edge, preparing for the great battle that lay ahead. Sharpening their weapons and bandaging their wounded, the defenders of Light’s Hope Chapel seemed to move in a perfect symphony, where each man knew his job.

-Man those ballistae! Get these men some decent shields! And in the Light’s name, bring me my horse! We are about to get obliterated, and you lot still move as if this were your everyday morning.

The head of the encampment, The Duke, or so he was called due to his… eccentric and commanding nature, was staring at the horizon, scheming and pondering his next move.

Light help us make it ‘till the next dawn, he thought. With three hundred defenders, some of which were seasoned warriors, while others have barely seen twenty winters, the odds of surviving this are… well, slim. Three hundred against thousands. ‘t will be a glorious death… as long as they don’t succeed in getting it.

-Your horse, sir.-About time. Make sure you get that man on his feet. I want to know who he is and what he was doing on that skeletal gryphon. If he is one of them, execute him.

The captain saluted, and watched The Duke riding like the Wind Spirits themselves.

—————————————————————————————–

The young paladin woke up two hours later, finding himself in an improvised nursery. Wounded warriors were moaning and twisting in pain on the neighboring beds, while Laethos began to feel as if the canvas of the tent was suffocating him.


Death, pain, suffering… such was the way of War.
And this war was as brutal as any other, with casualties on both sides. The only difference was that the undead kept replenishing their numbers while good men and women gave their lives on the battlefield.Hope was a commodity in this place where fear and insecurity ruled supreme. Like the people laying in bed, Laethos was hopeless. He would rather die now, than face his father in battle later.

He was a good man, the injured paladin thought. A good man who chose the wrong path… or rather, it was chosen for him.Mother, wherever you are, I ask for your guidance. Aid me, where the Light has failed. Help me, since I cannot help myself. What do I do?!

The question was still ringing in the young paladin’s head when a stout man entered the tent. He was a middle aged warrior who had seen enough battles in his life, or so his scars were telling. The man approached Laethos , and sat next to him with a grim look on his face.

-Who are you, youngling? *the man asked calmly*-A Crusader. Laethos… Fireheart I was called.

-What were you doing on a skeletal being, flying to that dreaded Necropolis?

-I needed to get some answers. That is when you, and your men shot me down. *Laethos glared at the questioning warrior*

-Indeed we have. For you might be a spy for the enemy. And we cannot allow such traitors to Stormwind and the Light to live.
What is the purpose of you being here?

-I was…searching for someone.

-And did you find him? *the man insisted*

-I have found only what I did not seek. More death, more questions and more pain.

-And still… how do we know that you aren’t working with the enemy?

-You may believe what you wish. I do not care any longer.

-The punishment for treason, is death. You are aware of that, are you not?

-I am.

-Then your fate shall be decided when you recover…

-I’ll be waiting.

The captain left the tent.
This one was truly hard to read. He seemed like a hopeless man who had lost everything. But at the same time, the youngling was defiant and ignorant. The guise of a spy, that may be.

As he continued walking to the Chapel, he pondered his course of action. Should he spare the youngling? He needed every man he could get for the battle ahead… But if he was really a spy, then he could potentially do more damage than the dead.

The warrior retreated to his quarters. He would think, and decide; he would be the judge or the executioner…

———————————————————————————————————-

The Duke arrived at a weird looking manor. The fabled Ravenholdt. It was hidden from sight and there weren’t many people who could distinguish the building from the overgrown moss in the surroundings.
Dismounting, the armored commander entered cautiously inside. He could see no man or beast. There was a still silence which reminded him of some childhood stories about haunted buildings.

He is here, I know it. *the Duke told himself* He likes playing games like these… Hmpf, I would gladly run him through my sword if he didn’t have vital information, and more…

Suddenly, a weird dwarfish laughter could be heard. The sound gave the Duke a strange chill in his spine.

Ah’ve never thought I’d see tha day when ye come here and ask me somethin’… Tha mighty Duke, of all people. Hehe, the destiny sure has its sense of humor! *a shadowy voice uttered*

I am not here for your amusement, criminal. You have something I need, and I can give you something you need. So decide now. Shall we play games or shall we talk business?! *the Duke asked source of the voice*

Business, o’ course. Now, come ‘ere an’ take a sip of ale. Then, I’ll tell ya what ye need ta know.

———————————————————————————————–

For the first time in days, Laethos could smell the relatively fresh air of the outdoors. Nothing was truly fresh in healthy in the Plaguelands, and the young man had learned that on his own skin.

As he walked around, he noticed the paladins and warriors who were submitted to intensive sword fighting training and combat strategies. They were all preparing for the great battle ahead… A battle that Laethos wondered if he would be in.

-Captain, I was wondering why did you let me roam free in your camp? Aren’t you afraid any longer that I may a spy? *the young man asked, as soon as he saw the plate-dressed warrior*-Look around boy. The men are hopeless and there is no chance of victory. Why would the Lich King send and waste another spy, to reveal something that he already knew?!

-I understand. Then I want to participate in the battle ahead.

-Hmm… we may use a strong arm. You said you were a Crusader, yes? Then I assume you do not need basic training, eh? *said the captain while grinning wickedly at Laethos*

After several hours of exhausting training, Laethos felt at peace. He would finally get the great battle he had hoped for, than die.
The only thing bothering him was his father’s fate. He might have been executed by now for letting a prisoner go.The following day, at the training session, Laethos was announced that he would be part of the Vanguard that would meet the Lich King’s Death Knights’ charge first hand, a few miles away from the Chapel.
The main objective of this battle was to hold Light’s Hope Chapel until the Duke returned with his surprise weapon – no doubt an army of Stormwind – to end the battle. It would a battle of life over undeath itself.

Good… *Laethos thought*… I will die soon enough, and I may take enough of those bastards with me to make them remember me.
Father, I hope to see you soon in the Blessed Halls of Light’s Grace… Mother, I hope you forgive me for my disdain. I did not know you, yet the memory of you gave me the answer I sought. And for that, I thank thee.

——————————————————————————————————————–

Two weeks passed, and the Duke did not return yet. The noblemen were surely a tough bunch to deal with, but the commander should be able to handle it. Either way, I know his tactics well enough to prepare for the battle for myself! *the Captain thought*

Two people, the scouts he had sent earlier, were approaching with great haste.

-Sir, they are coming.-How many? *the Captain inquired*

-Thousands, sir… they have abominations, ghouls, riders, skeletal dragons. We are doomed…

-Very well. Get yourself clean and report to your post.

The men saluted and went towards the Barracks.

So,’twill be a fight to the death after all… As long as we succeed, the Light can take us all.

——————————————————————————————

Bring the betrayer forth! *Mograine ordered*

Two Death Knights were escorting Laethor to their master.

- You have dared breaking the Lich King’s command. For this, we shall take the very thing you forfeit your loyalty. You will watch your cherished son die, by your hands!
- Never, the old man shouted!
- Fool… I wasn’t asking you. *uttered the commander as he used a terrible mind control spell*

My son… I hope you are far away from here…

——————————————————————————————-

Laethos had polished his sword and armor. He was as ready as he could ever be. Muttering a prayer to the Light, he mounted his warhorse and joined the man he would fight and die with.

As the charge began, Laethos could hear the inspiring battle shouts of those around him. Excitement took over him, as he killed his first rider. It was a bloody beheading, and it seemed that the rider was too ignorant of his poorly defensive stance.

The paladin rode toward a ghoul, when the fiendish being jumped on him, knocking him off his warhorse. Getting back up, Laethos took his weapon and charged. Impaling his foe, Laethos got into the thick of the battle. Blood was spilled everywhere, and the Battle of Light’s Hope easily turned into a slaughter, as there was casualties on all sides.

The young man saw that a friend was overpowered by a furious Death Knight, and he rushed to his aid when a distinctive sword almost beheaded him. It was a moment’s reflex of dodging the blow that saved him. Laethos peered around to see his foe, when his blood froze into his veins.

No…It can’t…It can’t be! Wh-why is he doing this?

The attacker was indeed Laethor, who could not resist the manipulative mind control used by Mograine.
Laethos continued parrying his father’s blows, without striking back. He couldn’t. It was his father he was fighting, not some mindless beast.


The battle raged on around them, and it seemed that the old Death Knight was relentless. It was as if the only thing he wanted in Azeroth was to see his newly-found son dead.

-Father, ‘tis I! Do you not recognize me!-I… am sorry.

Despite his apology, the Death Knight would not cease the endless assault. He kept attacking with more furious blows, against his own will.

When a misplaced slash came, Laethos saw his chance. He counter parried the blow and began his offensive. It was a dance of blades, as father and son fought one another in a battle that Fate itself had orchestrated. The old man defended himself well during the first three blows, but a feint Laethos had made put him in a vulnerable position.

The paladin, of course, noticed the opportunity and bashed his father with the full weight of his body. Laethor was now off balance, struggling to keep his defense viable. When the time came Laethos stroke his opponent with the pommel of his blade, disarmed him, then kicked him to the ground.

-Father, I beg of you. Return with me. You can be freed, I know that.-I do not… argh… have a choice, son. My fate is sealed, my crusade is lost. But you…*grunts*… you, my boy, have destiny waiting for you. Finish the deed, and move on. Greater threats have risen.

-But…my Crusade was about finding the truth… about finding you. Redemption can be bestowed upon anyone, father…anyone!

-*smiles* Heh. If only it were so easy.

Without warning, the Death Knight jumped at Laethos, disarmed him with a swift melee strike, and slammed him to the ground. There, he continued to choke the boy…

-End… it, the father begged.

Fighting for his breath, the young paladin thought he had seen something. A strange white dove was flying above them, circling the gruesome battlefield.
He had a destiny. And he would fulfill it, or die trying.

With renewed strength, Laethos kicked his father, freeing himself in the process. Then he pulled his sword from the ground and drove it trough the chest of his father.
Blood burst from the old man’s chest, as he dropped to the ground.
Laethos knelt alongside him, trying to preserve what little life his father had within him.

-Light… bless you, son. *grunts* I…-Stay with me, father! I will cure you. I know I can. Do not succumb to Death. Not this time!

-My… fate *grunts* is sealed, son. I… am proud of you.

The old man uttered these words and then kept staring at the sky. His eyes were motionless, and his body soaked in blood. He had died like a paladin, Laethos thought.

For the young man, the battle did not matter anymore. Who would lose and who would win wasn’t important for him anymore.

This was the end of his Crusade. Laethos had lost the only thing he truly cared about in his life. The only thing that gave his life, until now, a purpose. The Crusader… had lost ‘A Personal Crusade’.

Bach si lumea sociala vineri, Sep 25 2009 

In primul rand as vrea sa va prezint un video al unui talentat violoncelist Gabriel Panny, interpretand minunata piesa a lui Bach, Preludiu, de pe Concertul celor 6 violoncele (parca asa se numea).

Acum poate va intrebati ce legatura are asta, cu titlul. Poate niciuna. Sau poate pur si simplu ma intreb de ce Era de Aur a muzicii clasice a apus atat de devreme, incat nu am apucat sa traiesc in ea.

Trecand la subiect, am observat si re-observat ca lumea nu este ceea ce pare. In orice moment esti spectator la un teatru de…masti. In special la mediile sociale cum ar fi locul de munca, scoala, etc.
Astazi am avut placuta surpriza de a observa ca o domnita despre care credeam ca e o fatuca oarecare, una din cele care asculta ce e “la moda” si se da pe langa toti nu e nimic din ce credeam. Ba dimpotriva.

Intrebarea mea este: de ce? De ce trebuie sa ne prefacem, sa ne ascundem gusturile adevarate de lume? De ce trebuie sa urmam acele mici “jocuri sociale” in care te saluti dar nu te respecti sau in care trebuie sa ramai tot timpul “cool”? De ce oamenii simt nevoia sa poarte masca unei persoane care nu ii reprezinta deloc?

Imaginati-va ce interesanta si placuta ar fi lumea daca nu ne-am mai ascunde dupa deget, daca am avea discutii despre temele care ne intereseaza cu adevarat. Imaginati-va ce interesant ar fi sa poti veni la liceu, sa saluti persoana respectiva, si sa vorbesti sincer despre muzica clasica (fara sa fi privit ca un ciudat cand pomenesti de Schubert sau de Bach), situatia generala a planetei sau alte subiecte care poate ne-ar interesa mai mult decat ce a mai facut x vedeta, si care x lucru mai e la moda.

Din pacate, insa, lumea nu a fost si nu va fi perfecta…

There must be some kind of way out of here… marţi, Sep 15 2009 

…said the joker to the thief. / There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.

Cam asta ar fi inceputul de la o melodie care ma obsedeaza si fascineaza de ceva vreme. A reinceput toamna, cu rutinele ei scolare. Problema este faptul ca nici nu am inceput bine, si deja ma simt prins… in rutina. There’s nothing new. Acelasi liceu, aceiasi oameni (+ altii care au intrat anu’ asta intr-a 9a, oameni cu care nu prea am de a face), aceleasi profesoare. Nimic care sa ma intereseze.

Iar faptul acesta ma face sa ma simt mai mult sau mai putin ca un robot. Tot ce imi trece prin cap este: “Cum as putea sa scap de rutina, cand lumea intreaga e prinsa in ea?”. Oamenii se trezesc, se duc la locul de munca, fac aceeasi munca (cu mici diferente) zilnic, ajung acasa, se recreeaza, se culca, incep de la capat a doua zi. Iar in weekenduri fac chestii diferite ca sa compenseze pentru lipsa de actiune din timpul saptamanii. Singura mea curiozitate ar fi: “Cum scap din cercul asta vicios?”

Nimeni nu-mi raspunde… nici constientul, nici inconstientul, nici persoanele pe care le intreb.

Unii oameni au hobby-uri, acele activitati favorite care iti ocupa din timpul liber, si care iti distrag mintea de la lucrurile stresante. Problema mea apare atunci cand stau sa ma gandesc “Oare care e hobby-ul meu? Ce ar trebui sa fac?”. Singurul raspuns care imi vine in cap este acela ca nu ma cunosc destul de bine pe mine insumi. Atunci ma intreb, oare cine sunt?

Se spune ca suntem suma experientelor noastre. Ceea ce facem, simtitim, gandim, este ceea ce ne defineste pe noi ca persoana. Suntem programati si reprogamati in functie de experientele pe care le avem. Copilarii traumatizante, interactiuni sociale nereusite? Din asta iese o persoana introvertita care nu are incredere in oameni. Opusul, copilarii fericite, prieteni multi s.a.m.d? Asta duce la multi prieteni superficiali si la nevoia de a sta mereu cu cineva. La fel se intampla pentru fiecare dintre combinatiile posibile…

Altii ar spune ca suntem ceea ce sufletul nostru ne spune sa fim. Totul porneste din interior, iar este datoria noastra sa ne imbunatatim, si sa incercam sa facem lumea un loc mai bun in timpul acesta. Singura problema cu aceasta teorie ar fi aceea a interpretarii. A interpretarii dorintelor, nevoilor, impulsurilor de moment, reactilor…etc. Eu fac ceea ce consider ca este bine, altul poate considera actiunile mele ca fiind gresite.

De aceea consider ca este necesar sa inveti sa privesti un lucru sau o situatie din cat mai multe unghiuri posibile. Problema apare atunci cand suntem prea detasati, atat de detasati incat nu mai stim cine suntem…

Deci care ar fi abordarea corecta? Increderea in instincte, sau detasarea emotionala? Cum am putea scapa de rutina? Si mai ales… cine suntem noi, cu adevarat?

Battlestar Galactica bloopers duminică, Aug 16 2009 

O mica compilatie de bloopers din primul sezon…

“The Cylons were created by man… they rebelled… they evolved. There are many copies, and, unlike me, they have a plan, thank you.”

Iar pentru cei care nu au ras destul, va sugerez sa verificati site-ul asta!

Fiinta primordiala – Origini sâmbătă, Aug 15 2009 

Mitul androginului. Un mit interesant, cu un sambure de adevar, care ne face curiosi chiar si astazi. Cine suntem noi, de fapt? De unde am venit? Ce ne lipseste? De ce exista Dragostea dintre Barbat si Femeie in primul rand?

Originile fiintei primordiale ne ocolesc si astazi. Inca nu stim adevarul despre creatia noastra, despre scopul nostru. Iar, daca a fost vreodata o fiinta primordiala, se va reuni? Daca da, cand?

Pentru cei care sunt intr-o ceata din cauza introducerii sumare, sa va povestesc despre Mitul Androginului. Nu mai tin minte exact autorul, ci doar ca l-am studiat la liceu. Povestea afirma urmatoarele: Existenta unei fiinte primordiale, o fiinta asexuata, care domina planeta. Imaginati-va o femeie si un barbat, uniti. Aceste fiinte puteau face aproape orice lucru la care s-ar fi putut gandi, puterea lor fiind asemanatoare zeilor. Acesti zei, insa, s-au temut ca puterea androginilor era prea mare. Drept urmare, i-au despartit, in doua fiinte. Doua sexe. Se spune ca aceasta ar fi originea dragostei. De aceea cautam o fiinta care sa ne fie aproape. De aceea cautam sa ne unim cu ea, in speranta de a reface acea fiinta ideala.

Interpretarea mea ar fi urmatoarea: Daca scopul nostru esential ar fi acela de a ne reuni cu jumatatea pierduta, atunci de ce exista certurile, divorturile, si alte scandaluri de genul acesta? Fiind realist, nu cred ca este cuplu in lumea aceasta care nu a trecut prin cel putin o cearta / discutie. Ca o opinie personala, o fiinta in care mana stanga s-ar certa cu mana dreapta nu ar functiona corect. Nu ar mai functiona, defapt.
M-am hotarat, deci, sa-mi caut raspunsurile in alta parte. Poate cerurile imi pot raspunde.

Sa ne gandim putin la ingeri. Fiinte asexuate, parte corp uman (cel putin asa au fost reprezentati de oameni), parte aripi. Oare acesti ingeri, daca ar exista, sunt fiintele primordiale din care ne tragem cu totii? Daca de acolo am venit… unde ne indreptam?

Imaginati-va o imbratisare tandra dintre doi indragostiti. Trupul puternic al barbatului, lipit de trupul delicat al femeii. Impreuna formeaza un balans, un echilibru natural… Acum, imaginati-va ca forta si incapatanarea barbatului sunt defapt aripile ingerului. Aripi, care ar face orice pentru a proteja dar si pentru a ajuta ingerul. Femeia este reprezentarea trupului, cea care alcatuieste si da frumusetea si lumina caracteristica ingerilor. Impreuna, sunt o fiinta cu adevarat miraculoasa. O fiinta care traieste in armonie. O fiinta care si-a gasit pacea spirituala. Separati, nu ar fi nimic.

Separati, noi nu suntem nimic…

(I can get no) Satisfaction joi, Iul 23 2009 


Rolling Stones - Satisfaction
Asculta mai multe audio Muzica

Cam asta ar fi melodia care ar descrie perfect excursia mea la mare de acum o saptamana… Bauturi ceva mai ‘fine’ decat o simpla bere (deh, suntem la mare domne’), muzica buna, dans sau dat din cap (dupa gust) si plecarea acasa pe la vreo 3-4 dimineata, cu un gust amar (se terminasera banii), asteptand ziua urmatoare.

As vrea sa incep cu “inceputul”, dar nu sunt sigur ca poate fi vorba de vreun inceput anume sau de vreun sfarsit… pur si simplu a fost o saptamana departe de infernalul Bucuresti. No more, no less… Sigur, am revizitat pentru a nu stiu cata oara orasul Targoviste, m-am plimbat pe plaja din Costinesti, am facut bai revigorante in mare si dupa am mers in White Horse (club-terasa de Rock&Roll). Dar a fost doar o alta saptamana…
Privind jumatatea plina a paharului, as putea zice ca macar am facut ce mi-am propus (bautul de Jack Daniels, cantatul la chitara pe plaja…). But that’s about it. Nu pot scapa de sentimentul ca am irosit niste bani aiurea ducandu-ma in aceasta ‘tabara’. Multi pici, multa plictiseala, multa ipocrizie din partea cunostintelor apropriate… pe scurt, a fost mare dezamagirea. Mare ca marea insasi…. poate si mai mare.

Ce s-a intamplat de mi s-au ‘inecat corabiile’? Mai multe…I’ve had some fun, but on my own. Plictiseala intervenea numai atunci cand, ironic, eram cu cineva. Mainly cu niste / o / in final niciuna, prietene/a din oraselul Dambovitean sus mentionat… Ca sa va pictez o imagine in minte:
Sase oameni la o masa din White Horse. Eu, si restu’ de cinci fatuci. Eu: “Ne luam ceva de baut” Ele: “Da, stai un pic. Ia uite fata! Ce dragut e ala! Si se uita la mine! Vaaaai!!”. Eu ma duceam spre bar…
La masa. Stateam, cu paharul / sticla in fata, o invarteam plictisit pe lemnul chircit, care parca era la fel de enervat ca si mine. Ca in reclama cu “Budai Beer”. Shi fasheam? Stateam… beam, ma uitam la stili… indubitabil.

Dar pe de alta parte au fost momente placute. Momente cand fatucile cu care venisem se simteau lezate de muzica ‘hard’ care o mai puneau (La naiba! in puii lor…), iar eu ma duceam ca un maniac, cu fratii si surorile mele de suferinta, cantand si dand din cap… fapt care imi provoca o inexplicabila placere animalica. Nu pot explica exact, dar se simtea ca si cum m-as fi intors ‘la radacini’. Nu mai existau bariere… nu tu fite, nu tu ipocrizie… se vedea clar din ce esti facut. Se vedea clar esenta spiritului tau… sau cat de tare aveai capul. Mda… am ‘impartit’ cu altruism cateva capete incolo si incoace. Deh… ne distram. Din pacate, toata aceasta placere disparea odata cu melodia in cauza. Cu totii ne intorceam la mesele noastre, inundati de hormonii placerii si de transpiratie. Dupa o scurta perioada dispareau si endorfinele…si ne mai luam ceva de baut. Such was the way of the White Horse…

Ajugand intr-un final la concluzie, all in all, a fost o pierdere. De bani, si probabil si de timp. Preferam sa ma duc undeva in munti, poate intr-un loc mai pustiu, unde sa fiu liber sa ma aventurez cat doream, decat sa trebuiasca sa suport fite, ipocrizie si alte chestii specific feminine. Sau cel putin, fatucilor imature… Ce am realizat din toata tabara asta? Care a fost ‘marea’ revelatie? Lumea se schimba… chiar si oamenii pe care ii cunosti de ani buni. Si partea cea mai rea este ca te ranesc. Tocmai pentru ca nu te asteptai de la ei la asemenea schimbari. Ajuns acasa, stau si ma gandesc, care este rostul prietenilor? Inafara de o bere, o discutie, si probabil cateva oferte de ajutor reciproc. Sau mai bine zis, prietenilor de sex opus for that matter… Sigur, era amuzant. Aveam un ’spion’ in spatele liniilor ‘inamice’. Care intr-un final s-a dovedit a fi un ‘agent dublu’… Prea putine raspunsuri. Si tot prea multe intrebari…when will I get that promised ‘Satisfaction’?!…

Later Edit: Macar am reusit sa termin cartea pe care am luat-o. In prea putine zile, dar am terminat-o… Acum ca ma gandesc mai bine, pot face o paralela intre ceea ce mi s-a intamplat mie, si ceea ce i s-a intamplat lui Caezar, si anume tradarea din partea lui Brutus. Desigur, totul este o mare metafora in cazul meu, dar…din pacate, in esesnta, m-am simtit la fel.

“Tu quoque, Brute, fili mi!”

Walking away… duminică, Iul 12 2009 

…nu de tot, si nu departe, din pacate. Plec in vacanta, pe undeva in zona Costinesti din ’superbul’ nostru litoral. Plec insa, intai cu o escala de o zi la Targoviste. Unul din orasele mele favorite… nu e la fel de mare ca Bucuresti-ul, lumea se stie macar din vedere acolo, iar ruinele turnului din Chitilia iti aduc aminte de o epoca de mult apusa. Epoca in care n-am apucat sa traiesc, din pacate…

In rest, ce pot spune? Sunt relativ somnoros, plictisit, si dornic de aventura si distractie. Motivele plecarii in the first place. Ce sper sa gasesc acolo? Sincer, habar n-am… oameni interesanti sper. For one, as dori sa reusesc sa-mi termin cartea din seria Emperor (sa-i dau Cezarului ce e al Cezarului), si sa cant pe plaja, undeva, in noapte… Cam asta ar fi lista mea ‘lunga’ de activitati care as vrea sa le savarsec. In rest, n-am nici cea mai mica idee. O sa ma las ‘purat de vant’…

Cam atat din minipost-ul meu. Sper sa ma intorc cu forte proaspete, relativ fericit, si mai negru ca de obicei. :D

The B’estfest Chronicles marţi, Iul 7 2009 

Timpul trece repede. Parca ieri eram la inceputul vacantei de vara, iar acum sunt pe undeva la mijlocul ei. Totusi, la fel ca anatomia corpului feminin, lunile devin mai interesante de la mijloc in sus. Sa va spun, deci, cum a decurs inceputul lunii iulie si, inevitabil, desfasurarea festivalului de la Romexpo.

Ziua I – 2 iulie

Totul a inceput in acea dimineata placuta. Stiam unde urma sa ma duc, stiam cu cine, dar nu stiam cum va fi. Practic, eram ca un copil curios care urma sa desfaca cadourile de Craciun. Mi-am insfacat biletu’, m-am ocupat de igiena personala mai amanuntit decat de obicei, am adoptat o tinuta casual si dus am fost… Pe drum spre Aviatorilor m-am intalnit cu cativa tovarasi. Pe drum spre Romexpo m-am ratacit cu sus-mentionatii. Deh… fiecare urma pe fiecare dar nimeni nu stia unde sa ajunga. Intr-un final am ajuns. Am trecut de intrare, si am mers…. si am mers… si am mers… pan’ la punctu’ de control. Acolo, Baietii Gata Suparati mi-au cerut biletul in timp ce ma perchezitionau. Trecut-am si de chestia asta, indreptandu-ma cu pasi relativ grabiti spre festivalul propriu zis. Pe drum, niste fatuci destul de agreabile fizic mi-au atasat o bratara pe post de bilet de intrare pe cele 3 zile.

Eram acolo. Am pasit destul de nesigur in perimetrul gigantic catre niste standuri. Se observa ca sunt standuri “de la noi”, destul de saracacioase ca si marfa si diversitate, dar aranjate bine. M-am grabit catre zona meselor, mi-am luat cateva jetoane si o bere… i-am salutat pe cativa cunoscuti si m-am asezat la o masa. Totul a decurs bine de aici incolo, fara nimic special insa. Seara venea, trupele cantau si plecau, noi consumam si ne plimbam. Era relaxant de plictisitor. Intr-un final, au venit si ‘bunicii’ de la Motorhead. Cu a lor (sau mai bine zis: a noastra) sonorizare proasta cu tot. Ori a fost intentionat, ori boxele erau defecte, dar pur si simplu iti era imposibil sa te aproprii de scena din cauza zgomotului. Intr-un final am renuntat, mi-am mai luat o bere, si m-am plimbat. Dupa cateva ore, a ajuns si Maestrul Moby sub clar de luna. Tot ce pot spune e ca a fost… exceptional. De la melodii de suflet, pana la rave-uri nebune, totul a mers pefect.

Ziua II – 3 iulie

Asta avea sa fie o zi cat de cat interesanta. Nu prea aveam habar de cine canta. Stiam trupele dupa nume, dar nu prea ascultasem nicio melodie. Pe scurt, eram pe dinafara. Asa m-am simtit pe toata durata zilei. Out of phase… alienat. Tot sentimentul de stingheritate a fost insa alungat de niste scotieni talentati. Needless to say ca Franz Ferdinand au fost cei care au facut seara, cu al lor cantec “Walk Away” care mi-ar mers direct la suflet.

Transpirat dar fericit, am insfacat niste bauturi si am ascultat de la distanta pe ciudatii de la Orbital. De ce ciudati? Oamenii aceia erau asi in club… de asta sunt sigur. Dar in aer liber, nu prea aveau o pondere asa mare… pacat. Macar am apucat sa-i vad pe nebunii din DUKESbox, niste oameni de undeva departe, care erau inghesuiti intr-o replica de Jukebox, cantand piesele dorite de public… “Can’t touch this!”… per total a fost o seara placuta, dar inca odata, fara nimic special.

Din pacate euforia de moment se duce repede, iar eu ma indreptam once again spre casa…

Ziua III – 4 iulie

Ziua 3 ma asteptam sa fie cea mai ‘nesarata’ zi dintre toate… venisem decat pentru Santana, nu aveam alta treaba cu trupele care cantau pe scene, asa ca am cautat sa profit de timpul ramas pentru a experimenta ce n-am experimentat.

Ajuns fiind, si relativ obosit de la niste probleme personale de acasa, am inceput cu o cafea. Dupa, gurmand din fire, am continuat cu niste clatite servite impecabil de o d-soara la fel de delicioasa ca si produsele pe care le servea. M-am deplasat dupa la adapostul cortului Alto, din moment ce afara ploua. Acolo am fost ‘fortat’ mai mult sau mai putin sa socializez cu doua d-soare cu care n-aveam nimic in comun. Inafara faptului ca eram din acelasi liceu. Dar deh… colegu’ cu care tot umblam avea calcaiele permanent aprinse dupa una dintre fatuci, asadar mi-am pus zambetul politicios si am incercat sa ma incadrez…

Ploaia s-a oprit in scurt timp, asa ca mi-am zis “Daca tot e ultima zi, de ce sa nu incerc si Minuscule of Sound ?!” (cel mai mic ‘bar de noapte’ din lume, aprox 3 metri patrati). A fost… interesant. Eram toti inghesuiti pe ’suprafata de dans’ care masura putin peste doi metri patrati. Macar peretii erau imblaniti…smooth ridin’.

Ajuns la mult asteptatul Santana, am simtit nevoia sa ma misc. Mai mult decat de obicei. Asa ca i-am ajutat pe cativa din gasca cu care venisem sa ansambleze o bara de limbo din bete fluorescente and down I went! Aye, it was quite fun… partea si mai interesanta a fost ca incepusera sa vina toti oamenii sa ‘testeze’ inventia noastra… Totul s-a pierdut in negura timpului, printr-o balada romantica, impartind un dans cu o incantatoare domnita voluntar, care lucrase in timpul zilei… Apoi din nou acasa. Pacat…

Ziua a IV-a – 5 iulie – Aftershock-ul

Aceasta zi cred ca a fost cea mai relaxanta dintre toate. Am baut bere, am stat intr-un sezlong, citind o revista metal primita de la o fatuca insarcinata cu impartirea lor. Dupa, mi-am luat un camarad de metal si am purces spre scena. Am urmarit cu interes pe baietii de la Thunderstorm, si am tipat din toti raunchii, fredonand melodiile celor de la Trooper.

Insa atmosfera cea mai buna au facut-o desigur, cei de la Manowar. De la discursul in Romana al lui Joey DeMaio pana la explodatul generatoarelor, ocazie cu care s-au cacat la figurat pe cei de la Motorhead, Iron Maiden, ori Metallica, totul a fost… exploziv. Heck, tipii filmau pentru noul lor DVD, motiv pentru care toti cei din public au fost foarte zgomotosi. Heh… ne-au numit cea mai zgomotoasa adunatura de Manowarriori… which was… nice. Overall, respect trupa asta pentru dedicatia lor catre Heavy Metal, si pentru dorinta de a canta pentru fani, nu pentru bani.

Intr-un final m-am distrat in toate cele 4 zile. Desi au fost niste probleme cu plecatul tarziu, si cheltuirea banilor pe taxi, totul a fost ok. Regret insa, ca toata lumea era in grupuletele lor si probabil ca nu am avut foarte mult tupeu cand a venit vorba de cucerirea damelor… nu disper, insa. Vara de abia incepe, iar White Horse-ul din Costinesti ma asteapta… cine stie peste cine voi da acolo ?

Idealuri joi, Iul 2 2009 

…si idei. Stau, plictisit, pe la vreo 5 dimineata, suferind de o insomnie crunta, gandindu-ma mai mult sau mai putin la idealul meu in viata. La ce as vrea sa devin, ce as vrea sa experimentez si ce as vrea sa visitez.

De cand eram mic (nu ca acu’ as fi gigi maturu’ ) ma simteam atras de chestiile mai… istorice. Lasand la o parte povestile fastuoase despre cavaleri si batalii marete care avusesera loc cu mult timp in urma, m-am simtit tot timpul ca facand parte din acea lume. Un sentiment… inexplicabil. Ma simteam, inca de pe atunci, prins in negura vremii… prins in epoca gresita. Probabil un reflex la toate cacaturile care le vad si dau peste zi de zi… sau poate o viata anterioara in timpurile stravechi. Orice alegere facuta astazi ma duce cu gandul departe… acum cateva mii de ani. Oare ce alegeri as fi facut atunci ? Ce as fi fost in vremurile acelea ? M-as fi descurcat mai bine prin viata decat ma descurc acum ? Intrebari… mii de intrebari fara raspunsuri…

Partea ciudata este ca as fi dispus sa traiesc in orice epoca… de la Evul Mediu pana la Antichitate… orice perioada care nu are legatura cu initierea omului in tehnologie. Stau acum, in ‘minunatul’ an 2009, intrebandu-ma de ce am ajuns asa de dependenti de tehnologie ? Why must we be slaves to our own creations ? Mi se pare aberant… la fel cum mi se pare pierderea identitatii. Amestecarea limbilor. Pe scurt, de ce ar trebui noi, un neam cu limba si istorie proprie, sa depindem de ‘cea mai cunoscuta limba’? Nu ma intelegeti gresit, imi place Engleza ca si limba, dar nu inteleg care-i problema noastra ?! De ce trebuie sa uitam de unde am venit, de ce ar trebui sa adoptam alta limba doar pentru ca  noi suntem atat de labili mintal incat dam vina pe tara si pe istoria ingrata, justificand situatia degradanta in care ne aflam ?! Partea cea mai ciudata este… lipsa mandriei unde trebuie. Daca as dori de exemplu sa ‘retraiesc’ Era Medievala as putea foarte bine sa ma duc la un castel… si sa observ ca e intr-o stare deplorabila, neglijat de asa zisele autoritati. Ne mai miram de ce se plang straini de lipsa turismului civilizat….

Dar in fine, raman la idealurile personale… Pe langa aceasta ‘dorinta’ de a trai in alte timpuri, mai este inca una arzatoare. Aceea de a pleca din asezarea asta obsteasca pentru niste taramuri mai… fertile. Pe plan actoricesc. Probabil cea mai arzatoare dorinta ar fi sa reusesc sa devin un actor profesional, capabil sa se descurce oricaror situatii sau roluri. Unde ? Canada. Cand ? Peste cativa ani… In ce ‘bransa’ ? Seriale…

De ceva vreme am urmarit tot felul de seriale fabricate la mama lor, in Canada, si singurul lucru care am putut sa-l zic a fost “Wow… ce tare ar fi sa joc si eu!” Ma refer aici la ‘micul’ grupulet Sci-Fi, cu titluri cum ar fi Stargate SG-1 sau Stargate Atlantis, plus Andromeda si alte cateva… Revenind la SG-1, am vizionat recent toate cele 10 sezoane, plus cateva ”Behind the Scene’” -uri. Am ramas uimit. Sa fi capabil de asemenea performante timp de 10 ani… sa te maturizezi odata cu serialul… sa cunosti oameni noi, cu care sa iti faca placere sa lucrezi zi de zi… sa vii la ’serviciu’ relaxat, gata de o noua aventura… asta ar fi o viata de vis in opinia mea. Probabil si motivele pentru care as dori sa intru in aceasta mare familie. Nu pentru faima sau pentru bani… nu pentru a deveni cine stie ce mare star adulat de fani si cunoscut pe tot globul… nah. Doar pentru ocazia de a lucra cu cei mai buni, si de a veni la serviciu fericit, traind momentul.

Ce vreau eu pana la urma ? Sa-mi traiesc viata. Cum ? Prin intermediul actoriei sau muzicii (la nivel de hobby). De ce ? Pentru ca este singura modalitate de a ma plasa in ‘alta lume’ fara a inventa o masina a timpului… Cine stie ce se va intampla… ? Cine stie daca voi reusi…

Time will tell…

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